"What am I to you?"

Do you mean, what were you to me? That, I can answer. The sun rose and set with you. You were my heart. You were my woman when I needed you and my girl when you needed me. You were my strength, sometimes my courage, and quite often my pain. You were my sleepless nights and my angst ridden stomach. You were many, many laughs and lots of good food. You were my pillow, my comfort, my warmth, my audience, my cheerleader.

Now?

the hot in snake's clothing

On a rainy Thursday I arrived, not sure what I was looking for but looking nonetheless. I am the only one out of ten that doesn't remember the '70s. But its okay, I actually like it this way. The sideways glances because of my young blood only makes me pay more attention. I get a phone call and I actually answer it, I momentarily felt alone....to be on the phone would make me feel better.
I can feel the stare even as I look into my empty glass. I'd rather do anything than look up at you. So I go to the bathroom. I ask for more water. I make small talk with the lady next to me. Until I can no longer pretend I don't notice you.

Who wears snake skin boots?

the nurses, the exes, and the extra $5

the nurses

Let us dance around to all the played out sounds. Sure, I'll buy you a drink and maybe flirt for a bit. What? You want to kiss? Okay, why not? I hope you had fun at the play with your partner! And enjoy your bad karma...

I did not know, thought I was in the clear... Your cheating is not my fault. You wonder why I treat you so harshly upon finding out:

Its not so fun
to be with someone
dishonest.

the extra $5
The universe awarded me by making the bartender give me an extra five dollars in change.
the exes
And then I saw her again after years of broken beer bottles, white substances, and absolutely no class.
I wonder if things have changed
or if she has stayed the same.
Tormented by the same demons that staked a claim to her to actions before.

...

My oh my
I wish I
could be like the weather
storm down on her harder than ever

I could be
Just like this February,
decide in an instant
that instead of bein' cold and distant
I'm gonna be warm and sunny
And smile and be funny

...she said she wants to meet someone and feel the way the people in poems feel
i don't have the heart to tell her, "honey, that shit ain't real."
so instead
i nod my head
and tell her yes,
keep on lookin', keep on waitin',
you'll find her someday.

if the one i kept closest to me
ended up as a liar, a cheat
can i maintain a heart of gold?
babe, i'm just like you
you just never knew
i let you in, my bed dirty
from someone else's drunken night
you just never knew
you never knew
you never knew
i am just like you

love me till my heart stops...

...or at least until you find someone new.
today is the big day that you either start dreading around christmas time or start planning your (totally built up) "perfect" night with your significant other that never goes exactly as planned. valentine's day is the new year's eve of fake holidays. you need someone to kiss by the end of the night or you are unworthy!

i have never cared much for the holiday... yes, maybe because i have always been cynical. even when i was a kid i knew it was a way for hallmark to make BANK! as i grew a little older, i saw it as a day meant to remind single women that they are failing in life because they have not yet found a promising suitor.

today is just another day. another day where its okay to eat a lot of sweets that are bad for you.

love me till my heart stops? my heart has been in my stomach since december and i don't think valentine's day is the day that's going to bring it back up into my chest.